I have been blogging for a decade now. That feels crazy to write. Instagram in many ways has replaced how and what I used to share here since it was where the majority of our readers like to hang out.

However, I was reading some old posts the other day, all of which I had forgotten about. Stories and experiences that still stirred up memories as if they had just happened, and it reminded me of why it still matters to me to write sometimes. I no longer have it in me to share deeply personal things online anymore, but I do think there is a need for truth and reality in a seemingly endless sea of online perfectionism. What we all need now more than anything is camaraderie and connection. Our goal with IHOD has always been to share in a way that invites you in and allows you to be encouraged, to feel welcome, and hopefully uplifted along the way. So how about a brief life update?

Since I know many dear friends and readers alike have decided to step away from social media, I want to return to the occasional real life updates here. We are now expecting a new baby, in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. It was unexpected and I feel like I haven’t even adjusted to life with 6, but coming out of the haze of the first trimester I feel very humbled that I even get to carry life. A life that is a light in the midst of a world full of turmoil and pain. This baby has already taught me the gifts of trust and surrender into a plan much bigger than our own. My eyes are blurry as I type through tears because the truth is, I still very much feel like an unworthy student in the school of motherhood.

We told the kids Christmas morning, and seeing their excitement was something I will never forget. They all adore Chiara, and I have no doubt it will be the same for this one. Children have so much love to give.

It is not lost on me how many people are fighting through infertility and struggles to adopt, and it’s hard for me not to question the fairness of it all. So I am just doing the best I can to be a good steward of these treasures entrusted to me. To pay notice and appreciate the good and the hard that is shaping our family. I am so grateful for each of their lives. We are looking forward to meeting this little one in July!

I find it ironically humorous that we decided to do a huge kitchen renovation BEFORE finding out about this pregnancy, and so yet again I find myself debating green paints for hours to long. I am convinced we will wrap it up by May, and also simultaneously choosing to ignore the logical side of my brain that is telling me that it will very much not be done by the time I go into labor.

Going through renovations while living in your home is a far cry from what we often see online. Cropped squares with no children in sight. Well here our children are having to very much live through it as much as we are. Thankfully they are much more resilient and optimistic humans than I can claim to be. Chiara’s favorite spot is the newly discovered linoleum patches that were under the built-ins we removed. Rocco’s preferred place to eat is on the storage bin near the trash can. Veronica will prop her homework out wherever anyone is gathered so she can be in the middle of all the action. Max continues to compulsively build forts in whatever new corner he finds amusing.

We certainly can’t control the state of the world or even have some semblance of expectation of what the future is going to hold around us. I can however, choose to continue fighting for the family within the walls of my own home. To learn from each other, grow together, cultivate love, put faith into practice, and hope that one day these children will be change makers in their own way.

Thank you to you all who feel like friends far and wide who have uplifted and supported our family and IHOD through thick and thin. I will always be so grateful to you!

Family photo by Brigette Billups Photography